How to stop fearing failure that’s what I’m going to talk about today. I’m going to talk about three ways to recognise if you fear failure and five tips to stop worrying loss. I’m Dr. Tracey Marks, a psychiatrist, and this channel is about mental health education and self-improvement. I publish weekly videos on Wednesdays so if you don’t want to miss one-click subscribe.
Accomplishing nearly anything worthwhile has a fair amount of failure that goes along with it, and if you fear failure, then you don’t want to try anything you don’t believe will work. And if you fear failing, then you’re underachieving for sure. So here are three ways to recognise if you fear failure. Number one: you’re not aggressively and enthusiastically pursuing your goals.
Now hopefully you have a few goals for yourself, or maybe you don’t because you don’t want to take the risk. Lack of goals or having a lot of trouble making decisions about things is a sign that you fear failing. Number two: you’re obsessed with being perfect. Perfectionism is a sign that you fear failure.
Now yes, there are obsessive people or people who obsess about things because they want to have everything just so, but behind the need to have everything just right is a fear of having to deal with it not being the way you want it to be. And but even in non-compulsive people, the need for things to be perfect is also a way to avoid something.
Number three: you procrastinate or use other means of sabotaging yourself. You can unintentionally create a circumstance that makes it impossible for you to do something or for something to work, and these circumstances become convenient excuses for your lack of progress.
So, in this case, it’s easier to blame your lack of progress on not getting something done or not having everything ready or whatever circumstance you create. When in fact, you’re not allowing yourself to follow through in the way you need to because if you do your plan may not work.
Do any of these sound like you? Well, here are five ways to overcome your fear of failure. Number one broadens how you define failure. Failure is relative, and how would you define an epic fail? Would it be losing a bunch of money? I’ve always had this fear of having a party and having my show-up. So because of that, I would avoid having parties.
I’d instead be invited to a party. The Wicked Closest I ever came to experiencing was having a birthday party for my son where we asked his entire class plus some other kids, but only about ten kids showed up. And I had all this food and everything, and I was disappointed because only a third of the kids showed up, but I don’t even think my son noticed.
He had a great time with his little crowd. It was me I so I saw it as a failure because only 1/3 of the kids showed up, but for him, he had a great time and hardly even noticed that. So if I look at this under a different lens, instead of judging it by numbers, I could think of it by the quality of the interactions that he had.
He had a great time, and that’s really what mattered. Now that’s just a minor example, but it’s just to illustrate how if you expand how you measure the success of given circumstances you can find a way to measure success even if you don’t get your real desired outcome. So expect more products, and you’re bound to achieve at least one of them.
Number two: realise the failure isn’t always about you. If you internalise your negative experience, you’re bound to wallow in self-blame and have a pity party. And this state of mindsets you up for the self-sabotage that I mentioned earlier where you find things that get in the way of your being able to pursue something.
You have to remind yourself that there will be circumstances that are outside of your control that is going to affect your pursuits. You may overcome these circumstances or you may not, but you’ll never know if you will or won’t if you never even try. Number three doesn’t focus on other people’s endpoints. You can’t play the comparison game.
You don’t know what steps that person took to get where they are and even if all things were equal, which they are not you still you’re still a unique individual and the way you interpret the world and act on your opportunities is different from the way the next person responds to their circumstance.s And those differences can make significant differences in outcomes.
Number four imagine the worst that could happen and prepare for it. So however you define failure, is it that bad? And what could you do to handle that situation? If you have confidence that you could take the worst outcome, you’ll feel more confident to move forward with your plan. Number five: appreciate the value of failing.
There’s a saying in medicine that it’s dangerous when you don’t know what you don’t know. Knowing how things can go wrong helps you appreciate the scope of it. You really don’t know the bad until you experience it at some level. You learn something every time you fail to understand to enjoy the process of seeing just how far you can go with something and then when you die, you evaluate the situation and correct your course.
It’s not realistic to expect that the course is going to be correctly mapped out for you ahead of time every time and you’re going to know what that perfect course is. So you just keep moving forward until it’s not working for you anymore, and then you pivot and all the while you’re fine-tuning and fine-tuning is a good thing.
How has fear failure negatively impacted your life? It’s probably more than you think. Try some of these mindset shifts to help you push past that fear. Thanks for watching. Share this video with someone you think it may help and like this video if you liked it.